Desert Magazine published a profile on me and my “metamorphosis” in June of 2022. The article was written by Darya Mead. I thought you might like to read it. The photo above is of me, my husband Travis Smith and my three children: Andy, Matthew and Julianne, taken at our wedding reception.
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John White has found his wings in the Coachella Valley. At 60 years old, with a successful real estate group, three grown kids, and an Interior Designer husband, he says he’s never been happier. This Father’s Day, John is feeling particularly grateful for his children, and thrilled to be celebrating his own dad’s 90th birthday.
When John was growing up in Bakersfield— as an adopted, olive-skinned son in a sea of very white “Grapes of Wrath” farming community folk— he knew he was different. He never felt being adopted was the issue, even if he was known as “Johnny Black” on the swim team because he turned so dark from the sun (later in life, a genetic test showed he has 43% Syrian heritage). He says he had a fulfilling childhood with Carlos White (an entomologist), a loving mother and two sisters. Carlos’s great innovative insect idea became a reality when he created kits to observe the transformation of caterpillars into beautiful butterflies, then set them free! Together as a family they started the fabulous Insect Lore business, creating “A World of Nature at Your Fingertips,” starting with the Butterfly Growing Kits. Insect Lore brings science, STEM learning and joy to families and school kids, and these days has many offerings including ladybug habitats and ant farms. John describes packing up kits on their kitchen table. This all sounded magical to me, and in fact, when my son was a tot, we got a Monarch kit and grew and released “Flossie” (the name my four year old insisted we call the being). Whenever we see a Monarch butterfly, we wonder if it is somehow Flossie’s descendant, even if that possibility is slim at best.
The business grew and John went off to college, met and fell in love with his wife. He returned to run the family company, and together they had two boys and a girl. He spent the next 30 years growing his own family and Insect Lore. Insect Lore went from a mom and pop shop to a multinational business.
John says he knew he was gay at an early age, and as a skinny kid he was drawn to the hyper masculine, muscly Popeye and Bluto characters. John hid his sexuality and thought he could “manage” it. He joined a fraternity in college and very few in his orbit had any idea. Fatherhood is pivotal to his life, and he says he has always loved kids and truly relishes being a dad. He still remembers that moment his eldest (Andy) was born. The tiny hands and feet, the joy, and that there is nothing more rewarding in the world! He was active in their church and was a scout master, and says those feelings about his sexuality were compartmentalized and”‘in a safe,” locked up for a long time. Ironically, when Andy came out in 2012, John was immediately on a plane to go see his son, to make sure he knew it didn’t change anything. It was another two years before John came out himself. His middle son came out in 2016 and all three kids— although initially upset about the divorce— are his biggest champions. So too are his parents, and the dramatic revelation and the chaotic time when he was coming out, getting divorced, moving, leaving his job and starting a new career, is now in the rearview mirror. In order to fully actualize his authentic self, he says he had to leave behind his prior life and career. It was challenging, but he moved to the Coachella Valley and started the next chapter as a successful realtor and out and proud dad, husband and LGBTQ community member.
John worked hard to develop his real estate business, and in 2020 he was the #5 agent in the Coachella Valley. His recipe for success? John says he has always been gregarious and good with people. He has an approachable personality, is a good listener and clients feel comfortable around him. He says it also doesn’t hurt to be gay in this area, and he is thrilled to have many referrals and repeat clients. “It was an honor to run the family business for so many years,” he says, but he is really content having his own business. He has a team now, and they all love what they do. John and his Berkshire Hathaway team have transacted millions of dollars in real estate sales and they’re on a trajectory to be in the top 1% of agents in the area. A 5-star rated agent with Zillow, John has helped many buyers and sellers realize their desert real estate goals across the Coachella Valley. Clients use words like tenacious, professional, responsive and patient; not necessarily always a given in the real estate ecosystem. Reviews sing his praises, many of which echo these sentiments:
“John is terrific to work with. He correctly assessed my home value and had an offer in just over three weeks! He was available whenever I had questions and embraced my input.”
These days John and Travis (his husband and interior Designer at H3K) are remodeling their home in Indian Canyon and love to entertain and travel. They are equally happy staying home and reading their New York Times print edition together. His 5-10 year plan is to grow his business but also to ease into retirement.
When I asked John what he had planned for Father’s Day this year, he said he gave each child a personal trip with dad this year. Skiing with Andy (32, lives in Portland and works for Nike) in Park City, a tour of New Orleans with Matthew, (30, lives in Dallas and works for a Pharma company) and he’s going to NYC with his daughter, Julianne (27, a speech pathologist in Scottsdale). So I’d say he’s living up to the moniker of “Real Daddy” some of his friends tease him about.
After many years hiding his authentic self, like the caterpillars he shepherded to butterflies, in some sense he has been set free. John White is living his best life now, in paradise, happily married, with a wonderful community of friends, a successful business and a family that loves him in spite of AND because of his metamorphosis.